2014 NCFFL Draft Grades

Good afternoon bitches!  Turd Ferguson here, with your 2014 NCFFL Draft grades!

What a draft it was...we had sick intro music, fireworks igniting bonfires (and flying at Rizzo's head), a double-dose of Phillips (in fact, last night I heard something about one of the Phillips boys chucking a beer can at the draft board...wtf was that all about?).  That sounds like a typical NCFFL draft to me!

So I've taken the last 5 days to analyze all of the draft results, and have assigned big fat draft grades for each of you.  I tried to take into account the draft order as well, so teams who got early picks were probably held to a slightly higher standard than teams who picked later on in the draft.  Remember, these are draft grades...not power rankings.

Ok, let's do this!  Here are your draft grades ladies:

 

Klem Road Kocks - Pick #6 - I know Adam was thrilled with getting the #6 pick, and now I see why.  This team looks great on paper.  Lynch and Ball should both be studs at RB, Antonio Brown in the 3rd was highway robbery (only Josh Gordon had more receiving yards than him last season), and I expect big things from Andrew Luck, Torry Smith, and Mike Wallace this year.  It's hard to find a flaw with this team.  It's scary to think about how good they'll be after they trade-rape Jake and/or Nate. - Grade = A+

Judson Cardinals - Pick #7 - Jeff seemed to go with a BPA approach, and it paid off.  Stafford and Foles should both be good this year, as should Forte, Alshon, and Jordan Cameron.  I'm pretty down on Arian Foster and Pierre Garcon (spoiler alert….Garcon is going to come crashing back down to earth this year...not a great fit for the new scheme in Washington), but Eric Decker could surprise people this year.  The Cardinals should remain near the top of the Burgundy Conference once again this year. - Grade = A-

Steel Curtain - Pick #3 - I like what Garret did this year.  Grabbing last year's top player at #3 was a wise move, and Garret followed up the pick by grabbing 2 solid RB's, followed by 4 WR's.  Cruz and DeSean are big question marks this year, but Roddy and Reggie should be solid.  If just one of Cruz/DeSean work out, Garret should have a solid team. - Grade = A-


Password is Taco - Pick #1 - Mike actually had a pretty good draft this year.  I expect Brady to bounce back somewhat this season, and Mike did a good job of addressing the RB position.  His WR's scare me a bit…especially with Welker coming off of another concussion, but I think this team will compete. - Grade = B+

North Penfield Impregnators - Pick #9 - It's hard to stay objective here….but I think this team will be fairly good this year.  Doug Martin could prove to be a steal in the 2nd round, if he comes anywhere close to his 2012 form.  I think this team is set at the top 3 WR positions, as I'm expecting huge years from Cobb and Floyd, and this Calvin Johnson guy.  I also expect big big years from both Cutler and Romo...two good QB's with absolutely terrible defenses, so they'll be forced to air it out.  The 2 big question marks are at TE (which was badly neglected in the draft), and at RB.  If either Gerhart, Sankey, or Hill can have a good season, this team should be ok. - Grade = B

T. Clifton Rage-A-Holics - Pick #11 - Alex has some really good players….but nobody I'd really love as my #1 at any given position (with the obvious exception of Jimmy Graham).  Bernard should be solid, as should Vereen and Bell.  I love Keenan Allen this year, but Crabtree and Patterson are both boom or bust type players.  I do think Matty Ice should have a good year with healthy WR's and a shitty defense.  All in all, I think this team is about as good as can be expected when having the 11th overall pick, and missing out on all of the truely elite prospects. - Grade = B-

Turn Down 4 WATT - Pick #2 - Newbie Nate lucked into the 2nd overall pick.  When I look at this team, I see a ton of risk.  Jamaal is great, but has been dinged up in the past.  Julio could be a top 3 WR in this league…if he stays healthy.  Jennings is unproven as an every-down back, and the Giants offense is a mess.  There are some potentially explosive players here, but I also see a ton of red flags. - Grade = B- 

Mexican Cobras - Pick #10 - I really like the Cobras' first 4 or 5 picks.  After that, it kinds falls off for me.  I wouldn't trust players like Wright, Boldin, Greene, and Green in my weekly lineups, and McCluster (11th round) has already been cut.   - Grade = C+

Dirty Mike and The Boys - Pick #8 - My sources tell me that after the top 5 RB's went off the board in the first 7 picks, the 'nators were praying that Drew Brees would fall to them at 9.  Enter Rickie, to fuck the 'nators over yet again.  Demarco Murray and Reggie Bush could each have monster years...if they stay healthy.  Andre Johnson has been a great player...but his age, and Ryan Fitzpatrick scare me.  He should still be solid though.  I'm not sure what to think of Edelman.  New England has so many weapons...it's hard to predict who will get the ball.  I'm going to be honest...the rest of this team was completely off my draft board...including Vernon Davis, who is too unpredictable to trust week to week. - Grade = C+

 

East L.A. Scrotal Calipers - Pick #4 - McCoy at 4 was a steal.  He was the #1 or 2 player on my board.  I like Marshall in the 2nd as well…but it all kinda falls apart for me after that.  CJ1K was a major reach at the top of the 3rd round, and it feels like Sam overpaid for Sanders because he had a big preseason game the night before the draft.  After that, I see a lot of guys who could potentially be good, but haven't proven anything yet. - Grade = C+

  

The Colossus of Clout - Pick #5 - I love the Lacy pick at 5.  I think he could push into the top 3 RB's this year.  AJ is as safe as they come at WR, so that was another solid pick.  I love Jordy Nelson as a player, but I just don't trust him as an every week stud (probably because he's white).  I'm also not sold on Rivers this year.  He had a great year last season, but his schedule is absolutely brutal this year.  Jake has said he likes playing the underdog, and that's good.  This is the ultimate boom or bust team. - Grade = C

 

Oakland Outlaws - Pick #12 - Well Bob got stuck with the 12th overall pick, so I don't want to judge too harshly.  I just don't understand the Outlaws' draft strategy.  Maybe it was BPA, but at a certain point, you have to abandon your board and draft a damn RB.  I loved the Demaryius pick.  I was still somewhat onboard after taking Dez with the very next pick, but I figured Bob would load up on RB's after that.  After Vincent Jackson in the 3rd, alarm bells started going off.  My gut tells me that Trent Richardson, Steven Jackson, and Lamar Miller aren't going to get the job done at RB (for the record, I was pretty high on Miller about a month ago, but it looks like Knowshon will be eating into his workload). - Grade = C-